My 27th year was probably the longest, hardest and yet the most amazing year of my life. It was composed of lots of both ups and downs — smooth and bumpy rides, yet despite of it all the path became all too familiar that it led to comfort. It became a plain routine that somehow led me to believe that a conclusive presumption exists that everything is OK — in fact too close to being perfect. However, that presumption was not actually conclusive but rather rebuttable. There are things that would make you realize and would break that seemingly perfect world into pieces.
“Where’s the fun in living without that few bumps along the way?” God must have thought.
Surely if one finds comfort in monotony then there is no pushing one’s self beyond his limits. There is no growth and there is no chance for you to become the one He intends you to be.
The following are some of the lessons I learned just before I turn 28:
- BE HONEST. If you felt hurt then accept it. There is no use tricking your mind and convincing yourself that you are OK. If other people hurt you, let them know even if it would turn out that you just misunderstood them. Telling the truth is better than trying to please others. Afterall, you can really never please everyone.
- SAYING “NO” IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT AND MEANINGFUL AS SAYING “YES”. Just simply say “No” if you dislike something rather than say “Yes” and then you go doing things half-heartedly.
- HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. You can never rely your happiness to someone else. Your happiness is determined by how you look at the circumstances. The glass will always be either half-empty or half-full. Always choose to believe in the positive side of every situation.
- DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF OR YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. You will never be satisfied with what you have if you keep on looking at what other people have on their plate. Remember, if you find the need to compare, compare your life to those who have less.
- YOU ARE ENTITLED TO WHAT YOU FEEL. There is nothing wrong in being sad or broken. These things help us become better individuals. Never allow people to belittle your feelings. Never allow others to tell you what you should and should not feel.
- MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAY “OK”. Never say things are alright with you even if they are really not. You will regret it in the end. Remember Lesson Number 1.
- IGNORING THE PROBLEM WILL NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. Letting issues pass by with hopes that it will just magically disappear will not solve it. It will just pile up until one day you will realize it took a toll on you. Acknowledging the problem’s existence and confronting it head-on is the way to do it.
- LET GO. Learn to let go may it be some feeling, a thing, or a person. You cannot move forward if you keep on looking back. You cannot make someone stay if they do not want to.
- YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A PERSON BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU RESPOND TO THEM. Change must be something personal and voluntary. Instead of expecting someone to change after pointing out their habits that upset you, simply change the way you respond towards the situation. More often than not, you can just let it pass.
- PAUSE, RESPOND NOT REACT. Before saying or doing anything after being upset by or over something, PAUSE. Understand the situation and know the proper way to address the issue at hand. Not every unpleasant scenario would require you to say or do something.
- EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL HEARTACHES. Believe in people’s goodness but do not expect anything from them. You’d actually be surprised on how great people are if you do not expect anything from them.
- MARRIAGE IS UGLY. It is not the “happy-ever-after” kind of thing you read in fairy tales. Marriage requires hard-work, consistency, perseverance, understanding, faith and love to bring that “happy-ever-after” in real life.
- Lastly, PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS NOT SELFISHNESS. It is self-love and self-preservation. In order to love others, you must first love yourself. Remember that you cannot give what you do not have.
I have decided that my 28th year will be all about rediscovering myself and chasing my happiness. I am choosing to love people around me hence I should strive to be whole again. This year will be spent on building my dreams and serving God. This year will be about searching for inner peace and finding security in the Father’s love.